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Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Oh calamity!

Oh calamity!
Canadian blood has been spilled on our soil. The house i live in got an email. The last guests renting the room leaked some menstrual poetry in the fancy sheets.
Nosy, i went in with the cleaners (popcorn in hand) ready to survey the carnage! Well,it wasn't what I expected.

I was expecting it to look like a litter of Great Dane were born there. No luck. It was discreet and small.
A couple of faint pink dots the size of quarters.
They cleaned it up as best they could but still that pro bedding's career has effectively ended.
I'm so glad we all survived the ordeal without and casualties or an international incident.
Now us jackal clowns have scavenged the sheet.
We are thinking of making a banner that says "Welcome to Salem" to put on our roof...y'know... for the airplane passengers to freak out to.

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Sunday, April 28, 2019

If you rent a room somewhere is it acceptable to ask that the toilets always be flushed?

Someone reserved a room and made that request. So now I'm working out how to make the tank always flush yellow water and how to glue a Baby Ruth candybar to the bottom of the bowl. I think it's gotta be contact cement. Guess I gotta drain the old commode tonight. #enrichment
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