Happy New Year.

The guests in both rooms are Americans. The couple we just met have no New Years plans.

 They are exploring  the country. The big concern is what will be closed in the AM.

The two women in the other room look like a party so I expect they will be doing something fun. 

We didn't make a plan. Maybe a bike ride and first cuddle puddle of the year.

Happy New Year. 

Dead fish on the doorstep.

We found some cryptic gifts on our porch.
Upon opening the one with my name on it, I found a dead fish in a lovely box.
Olive got a vial of Christmas scented essential oils.
The fish is a callback.
Earlier this year we did some house sitting for friends.
I wrote a long dry-erase board novel about what happened every day of the two weeks.
In the tale I wove
their fish actually died (from me registering that I fed it three times a day).
I told them on the last day that I replaced the fish with an exact replica.
In actuality the fish was fine until now.
Little did I know that 6 months later I would have the product of my fisherman's tail.

That wuz weeerd,

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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

aw kindsa peepoes

We were getting home from a gig. A lady and her kid were walking by. 
They looked at us two clowns with wide eyes and lots of apprehension.
Then the lady hustled the kid along saying 
"Just like I tow jew, The citys full of aw kindsa peepoes.
Just look straight ahead, mind yer biddness and they prolly won't do ya no harm."
I was cracking up.
We are just clowns not baboons!
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

introductions

This is a riot.
The people in both rooms right now are from India and Korea.
Neither speak much Americanese.
Everyone is on the Vay Kay so it's loose.
It's so delicious to hear introductions happen in the hall.
Attempts at saying each other's names are made.
Sometimes they nail it, 
Sometimes not even close.
I have about the same record.
Once Olive asked a guest to write his name in the flour we had on the table.

After that it was easy.
Olive realized that we don't have any problem sticking guest's names
if we see it printed.

A rags to riches Portland story

We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/
Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

shut down

A couple just missed out on their chance to visit Crater Lake.
They couldn't get in because it's shut down. 
The government is on it's partial shut down. oh joy... :(
 All of us are more worried about the employees not getting paid than disrupted plans.

We gotta be clowns this morning. Even if a couple are in a bad way.

Downstairs a couple are having a bit of a row. 
The two guys from Canada left early. We woke to the couple banging around.
Olive came up from downstairs with a decadent smile. 
She whispered,  "That couple are bicker fighting, it's heated."
Then it became the fun challenge. 
How do we put our clown drag on while a couple who are not having a good vacation are having it out in the same hallway?
I wish we had time to get involved. 
That would be entertaining but we gotta go to work.
After stalling as long as possible we went downstairs to face the music.
They decided to do the hiding thing.
That's cool.
We could hear them but we still have no idea what they look like or anything about them.
They were gone when we got home so I guess we will never know what the big deal was.

The first couple I met here a while back had a similar situation ...but... different.
They were up from the Bay Area for a wedding.
I got home from clowning and went to the backyard for some good old  "4:20 safety meeting."
The couple joined me.
I warn them that it's strong.
As we get to know each other I see the effects are effecting them.
I have a crazy high tolerance so I was fine. They however, were realizing that they were smoking out with a clown.
They looked creeped out as they dashed off to their room.
20 min. later I'm in the brekky nook wiping out some fruity pebbles. I heard muffled shouting but that would be none of my beezwax. Pebble on!
Suddenly the dude walks out and asks, "Did Jacky come by here?"
I did seem to see a blurred flash go by between slurps of my milk candy.
 I looked out the window, motioning for him to look. 
Across the street his GF was standing, crying by the garbage can.
He sees her just as his phone starts ringing.
It's her.
He walks to the edge of our driveway and has a lovely argument on the phone... with her standing across the street.
They had it out, looking right at each other from a car length away.
It would have been so dramatic had there been traffic.
There wasn't any traffic so it looked awkward as all get out.
Vacations aren't all gravy.
They got it together and soon joined me in the back for round two, and three etc.
I'm here to help.

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Making chapstick late at night.

https://www.facebook.com/dingo.dizmal/videos/10157198256479644/

Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

making cobbler and cookies together.

My son decided to contribute a cobbler.

I was very proud hearing him communicate patiently with our friend who speaks mostly Korean.

I'm Proud of her for her English skill.

"San Francisco Guy walking by the kitchen light, Won't you help us make these damn cookies tonight" Classic Xmas tune.

Nutells filled cookies

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Christmas at the bungalow

My new friend is into cooking Spanish shrimp.

Olive is killing it with the Korean language skill.

I'm learning these languages as a protest against the ignorant reputation Americans have. 

Olive is learning by default. They are cooking together and they gotta be on the same page with the cookies.

my kids enjoying the house.

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My wife just asked a fumy question. "Is that your coffee cup on the stove?

Thanks France!

I was walking by some French women cooking in our kitchen. I say, "Poulet."

She smiled. Then her and her friend each took a small portion and gave us the whole bird.

We took it up to our room to devour.

Thanks France!

Clowns know that word because it's hilarious.

YUMMY!!!!
Like what we do?
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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Understanding each other with wine, sushi, hot Ramen, whiskey and some very smart phones.

Olive has been trading lifestories. She doesn't speak Korean but her phone does. 

A couple of very tall, elegant, French women are walking around our kitchen making tea.

We were doing the silent co-existing maneuver that is so popular in elevators, when one of them noticed a jar on the kitchen table: "Izzat?"

Me: "Oui c'est, madame. That is indeed, a honking, huge jar of chronic."
Her: "Croonik?"
"It's weed lady, the whole neighborhood's gone to pot. Help yourself but be careful, it's strong.
Made of Oregon sunshine."
She said: "Portland is like Amsterdam."
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure they have universal healthcare there. Here if we get sick or hurt, they want us to die or work till we die of old age. Murika."
Her: "I see why you like deu pot."
Me: "Oui, Madame."

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

A young S. Korean woman just walking into the kitchen wearing only a tiny shirt and panties.

She was very embarrassed to see me and apologized over and over as she backpedaled out of the room. 
Now we are even. When we met this morning, I was only wearing a towel. 
I hope she knows I don't care. 
I'm somewhere between indifferent and slightly amused. 
She came back with some clothes on asking me to help her open a huge bottle of IPA. 
I think she may be the shyest party animal on the block.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Two attractive women from France are staying at our place.

They may be models or in tv. They seem really together. They have easy smiles so that fits into the house vibe well.
Hope they are enjoying our town,
We haven't been around to talk to them much today.
 I'm just glad the prez isn't in France right now.
We had French people here the last time "Don the con" was being a Jackass in France.
It was embarrassing.
Also, this week we had a mom and daughter from Louisiana in a room. 
They were absolutely delightful.
Olive is a mom and a daughter too so they had lots of language and priorities in common. 
The kid was looking at Reed college. She didn't want to go home, "Everyone is friendly here, the town is walk-able, good food and fun everywhere, and people ride tallbikes! At home everyone is mean and it's hot. Let me stay with the clowns Mom!"
 I loved their N'orlins accents. Hearing Olive and them connect was bliss.
 They just met and yet they are all into the friendship with the hugs n such.
Mom is a nurse and matriarch. Olive and I were impressed by this gorgeous, charming, powerful, soon to be empty-nester.
It was neat to hear they are Southern Progressives.
I was hoping they were gonna make some Cajun food. Everyone was hanging out in the kitchen.
I thought I smelled the faint aroma of pinto beans. But I was wrong.
There was a traditional dish cooking but not from any of the traditions at our house at the moment. Olive had made everyone a pot of Pho.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

"I don't actually speak your language"

I need to learn how to say, "I don't actually speak your language" in Korean, Japanese, Chinese, French and Russian. I've been concentrating on learning greetings so much that my perfect pronunciation creates a misleading situation. I'm brave enough to attempt languages when I encounter folks from around the world but I end up writing a lot of checks I can't cash. Not yet, anyway. Working on it. 
Pantomime skill comes in handy a lot. I am motivated to learn this stuff.
Clowns can be entertainers, diplomats, spies, all those jobs are enhanced by knowing lots of languages. Also I consider it civic duty for all of us to know all the languages.
During a heated discussion with a Chinese person I was asked 
"Why are Americans proud of not knowing things?"
I don't have any answer but now I make it a point to demonstrate a better trait.
I try and learn something from every person that comes through.
People love hearing that I know bits of their language.
I hope they go home to report that they met, informed, emotionally intelligent, intellectually curious, friendly people.

meanwhile...it's been a fun year.

Having an icy dinner.

In the 10 years we've been together we've never had a dining room table. We've always wanted to try having an icy meal where we just stare at each other being curt and pithy. It was fun.

invisible tacos demo

donut bucket: a Portland tradition

Just now, I met a couple from the Midwest who walked into the kitchen and presented us with a bucket of donuts. 
I say, "Did you two go dumpster diving? My, you did get the Portland experience!"
Turns out they intercepted the loot before it hit the dumpster.(Like a champ! Olive and I should dress as tourists when we go dumpster diving!) 
They plan to give 'em away downtown in the morning (sounds so familiar to me for some reason). They say they got their scrappy scroungy skills from being college kids. I was impressed. 
These donuts are in good shape, they should go over well. 
Now that my new friends have contributed to our community, I'm going to give them the true authentic Portland experience by gentrifying them out of their rooms while they sleep. 
 Keep Portland weird heehee.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

neighbors

Right now, both the rooms have people from the exotic country of... Washington State.
They are here for Black (no sales tax) Friday.
I wonder if the savings cover the price of the posh room? 
Olive and I forgot to put the heat on twice this month. 
It's not our style, so we fumble that ball sometimes. 
The first time the rooms had people from Winnipeg and Ottawa. They didn't seem to notice one bit. 
The next time it was Miami and Mumbai India in the rooms. 
They noticed a LOT for some reason.

Lots of docs and nurses come through this house.

Lots of docs and nurses come through this house.
I'm a fan.
I didn't think I could possibly respect them more until I observed something in my natural environment.
Those crazy cats are really fun to watch when they do dishes!
I noticed American, German, and New Zealand doctors wash dishes like they are prepping for some kind of a medical procedure.
Every time they scrub the crap out of that dish situation.
Makes me feel inadequate even though I have many years experience being a pro-dishwasher.
My style is to clear the debris, give everything a good swipe or two, and call it good.
Med pros are apparently trying to prevent an outbreak.
Good on 'em.


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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Meanwhile... folks bring our fans to us in magnificent vehicles.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

This just in from The Land of the Rising Sun.

Some of you may recall my story of meeting the couple from Japan who were staying at our house. We had rad adventures considering the language barrier. While here, it was clear my "Homie from Kobe," Gen, was obsessed with the idea of pizza. 
Not a lot of ovens live Japanside. 
Well Gen just sent me these pics. 
He banged them rocks together and presto. 
Dude made a pizza pie from scratch just like I showed him. Rock on Donkey Kong! I hope he didn't use a microwave oven. 

 This is the one we made together.

New neighborhood dynamics.

My neighbors car alarm is going off. I look outside and discover she doesn't have a car alarm. The prowler is just honking the horn, flashing the lights and yelling wooooo wooooo.  wooooo wooooo-wooopwooop neenawneenawneenaw weeeeo weeeeo woop woop.
I love D.I.Y. culture.

OK- I just poured the contents of "pantry mystery baggie" in my oatmeal.

People leave exotic foods behind all the time. 

It's a cultural experience for me.

I asked around. 

It turned out to be my favorite spice:
"expired exotic fish food."
We need to get some more of this stuff 
yum yum.

We like "conveniently" taking our guest friends to this bus stop.

It's fun to wait for them to notice us in the mural painted by Alex Chiu.

Owner of the house next door is a total tool.

The family renting next door has moved away.  The little boy who lived there said he would be very sad moving away from the clowns. That is hilarious because in the year we been here he has never said a word to us.

We hear the owner of the place was not so pleasant and we found that out when he came over and demanded we remove all gardening-ness from his property. That means everything to the right (in his mind) had to go. The reality is that he has a crappy slightly fallen fence that he refuses to take down even tho mother nature has partly done that job for him. This fence only lines up a few feet from his house. So there's an argument to be made that our garden is still on our side... 

Nonetheless we are happy to chat with his grumpy self and he won't have it. 

I gave him the stinkeye because he was rude to the Inn Keeper here.

This guy was playing with fire in that respect.

Olive and I guard the Inn Keeper fiercely.

His plan, now that the fam moved out, is to fix the house up and sell it so he can go bring his version of sunshine to Arizona. 

(Sorry Arizona. I know your state is already packed with total tools).

Looks like this fence is about to go after all. Anyway, let's keep trying to get along y'all. Tear down the fences! 

Yes! trick or treat gift from the neighbors

 A wonderful trick or treat from a fan of punk rock with a green thumb. 
Much thanks for pitching in to the clowns. The legal limit is a zip right? This is about a zip (zip=1oz.) 
It's amazing folks can grow this plant past the rainy season. 
Usually they find out the hard way that mold is a thing. 
This seems to have come out swimmingly well.
It sticks to the wall. 
lol. Our only guest Halloween night was a woman from Ireland. 
She is going to go home telling folks that Americans get huge jars of weed for Halloween. 

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Calzones!

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Meanwhile... I took a fishing trip in the neighborhood

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/
Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

"Catching up" isn't the same as it once was.

 Last night we got to catch up with our friend after a long time and many life chapter changes. As we went over the past few years we kept saying, "Yeah, I saw that." about each other's life, art, and health. This makes me question if we actually were, "catching up."

We were only physically separated but online, none of us missed a beat. We communicated and have been encouraging to one another for the whole time. Now "catching up" means getting the full story and actually hearing each other giggle.



Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Time warp

Olive was feeling ill so I cuddled her to sleep early. 
We both passed out. 
I got up at 6; it was still dark.

Stove said 6:00 as I made coffee. 

Olive got up feeling much better and started putting her clown drag on. 
Then she discovered something important. 
It was 6 pm, not 6am...
We only slept a couple hours. 
We are 14 hours away from needing to be making these moves. Time warp.

water you talking about?

Water is a big deal. I been a fan since forever. Plastic water bottles gross me out something fierce.
Plastic bottles are a blight on the world. We need a better option.
I was wondering how many people need them to survive.
I decided early on to start asking the folks who come through our house if they like drinking the tap water in their hometowns.
This won't be a comprehensive list because I didn't record most of my findings but I will continue to update this post as I collect more opinions.
Do you drink tap water at home?
London No
Scotland Yes
Santa Barbra CA. gross 
Las Vegas No
Boston Yes
Shanghai, China NO way (boil zone)
Vancouver, BC YES
Cleveland NO
Shreveport La. Yes
New Orleans La. No
Amarillo Texas No
New Zealand Yes
Osaka Japan Yes
Paris France Yes (they thought our water was whack)
New York city No
Minneapolis Yes 
Seattle Yes
Cincinnati (whatever)