After we got home today we found a middle aged lady in our living room. It happens.

This Chinese lady who is staying with us is driving her daughter nuts waking her up to translate. She is fascinated.
I don't speak the language but I do have a Mom. I know what she is telling her kid. "No, don't just tell me they are clowns and they live upstairs.
I still have questions 3 through 103 about this here situation. Now stay put and tell me what these fools have to say." HAHAHA! You go girl.We have a new best friend. That tone is the same in all languages.
She was shy and bashful because she doesn't speak English. 
She muttered "I from China Beijing" 
Instantly we greeted her in Mandarin. 
She got a huge smile. 
Flash forward an hour later and Olive. the Mom. and the daughter are tangoing. 

Cutting a rug like old friends. She told Olive. "You Tango? You Dance?"
She assumed that because Olive was an animated clown that she would also know how to Tango...and she was right. "You teach me Tango Olive"
Living in a house that rents rooms is a perfect roost for clowns. 
We live for these interactions.
We sadly said goodbye to our Chinese national friends this morning and now have a new set of sweetheart single serving friends to miss.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/


Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

china connection

Lately it's been several pairs of 20-somthing women. We hit it off with the pair of Canadian friends, now we miss them. Currently we have New Jersey and Washington DC in one room and China in the other. 
The Chinese women were much different than the usual couples and friends on Vay Cay. The women from China are here for work. We hung out with them for a long time last night. When they first saw us, they had no idea what we were about. "Why you dress like daaaa? Is it festeeva?" 
We say "No were are the house clowns." "Like actor, Movee staa?" Me: Yeah, we are big movie stars, we are huge here, and in Bogota." I hadn't asked where they were from. They eventually said that they are with a Chinese firm. They were proud to be some of the few people from China allowed to travel the world (this raised a huge commie red flag). They are here working for marketers in the animation field. As I was defragging what was said it dawned on me. These are humans from communist China.
 I instantly and invisibly put on my "citizen's auxiliary, nosy, spy, prank, and neutralization klub" (C.A.N.S.P.A.N.K.) badge. 
If they are up to any espionage or subterfuge against our country I will sniff it out and lay down a few spoilers and red herrings. Your welcome Uncle Sam, glad to help. 
We continued our counter espionage diplomacy with them until late at night. 
It was a nice time and they were really delighted when we said goodnight to them in their language. I was gonna take a photo of them and Olive but after I got the camera I realized that everyone in the room were gorgeous millennials in skimpy clothing lounging in front of a fan. If the cameras come out, it's gotta be their idea not mine.
 We have a week to get in their heads and take good photos. We will see what happens. Dig this...I could (and should) be wrong about them. 
They were wrong about us. 
"We thought you worked for Disneylaaaa." Hahaha. But it's still good to keep that security culture up and running all the time. 
It's civic duty. E Pluribus Unum!

mexican food

We have been "single serving" friends to a couple of cool cats from China. 
There is a bit of a language barrier but that's my fault. 
They were nice enough to show up knowing a lot of my language. 
They are a riot. One of them was brave enough to ask for a ride on my tallbike.
 It was super funny. 
They got really animated. 
They said they never tried Mexican food.
We decided to take them to the Mercado.

They still haven't tried Mexican food. They don't know English or Spanish so they were just going by the photos outside the foodcart. They got lunch from a Cuban food vender. :)

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

china compadres

 We got really tight with our new friends.  This pair from China made it to "next level single serving friends." mural. 







Today we took them to have something they have never tried "Mexicans food" we took em to our favorite spot, the Mercado. Actually our friends still haven't tried Mexican food since they got dishes from the Cuban truck.
 I got the "dirty Diaper special" aka Mole plate. After eating and discussing everything from politics, romance, fashion, life and the daily grind we decided to take them to see us depicted in the train station 

We talked a lot and Olive and I have been taking a crash course in Mandarin. It's very embarrassing to me that I don't know many Chinese phrases. They do appreciate that I know a lot of Chinese history, politics and culture. They seemed surprised. I don't blame them. Americans are known for not knowing things. 

They say that all the world is into American culture but wonder why isn't America hip to any world culture.
 I have to explain to them that our country is groomed to mentally never leave high school. Our people think of leaders like sports teams and have too much groupthink to tolerate or see the value in understanding other cultures. 

China used to suck royally as well. They come from a place that had no pop culture for a long time under Chairman Mao. Everyone wore a uniform and music was only to glorify the state. Our friends like that we can speak out against the leaders here. In China you go to jail for speaking the way do freely. We made it clear that we don't like 45, they thought his trade war was unnecessary and ugly. We agree. 

All of us noticed how our respective country's are wondrous places full of interesting cultures, cuisine and traditions but also plenty of dumb-asses and authoritarians who make things suck. 
We are all smarter people after spending this week getting in each other's heads. They worked similar hours to us so we had a chance to chill out together a lot. 

Took friends to first Mexican food, they choose the Cuban. These particular patrons have zero points of reference looking at a line of carts containing cuisine from all over Latin America. So it's the photos of the food that made the deal. Fidel won this round. I had the Mole plate. That looks like a dirty diaper so I can forgive them for not throwing up a glamour shot of that mess.

Unlike most of the guests, they are not on vacation. They were at home. We related to their hustle and teamwork because that is what we employ as well. 

I asked them where gay people get married in China. They said "Las Vegas".

Now It's close to the end of our single serving friendship. 
They will go on to other adventures and we will miss them. 
When we met it was mutual suspicion and mechanical courtesy. As the days went on we started eating together, having awkward silences, sharing and ignoring each other...and now we kind of jelled. 
They giggle with Olive a lot and we hang allover each other like we been friends for years. We won't see them again most likely but we will always remember the great connections and think of them when we use their language. 
It may come in handy, some folks from Taiwan are due to land in one of the rooms tomorrow.
 :) zàijiàn

They didn't warm like usual.

Every few days we meet folks from all over the world.
We don't work here, we are just the house clowns.
Usually they are thrilled to meet us, see our bikes and be on vacay.
This time the guests just stared silently at us as I introduced myself and showed them their room.
I told them about the filtered water and pointed out the towels but they didn't look in the direction I pointed.
They just awkwardly backwards-walked to their room and slammed the door. I never saw them again.
I don't need to be liked by everyone, it just rolled off my back as usual.
Then I walked by a mirror.
Earlier, Olive and I were making out and I had her red lipstick covering my entire lower face.
I didn't look like a clown, I looked like I was just devouring a wildebeest on the Serengeti with the jackals and hyenas.

That gave me a good laugh.
I guess I should start paying better attention now that we are house clowns.

like what we do?
jar. Here is a link to our online hat. :)
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

We are not employees but we do like getting paid. 
I was thinking of stealing a page from the carnival ride playbook.
 Y'know how when you go down the log ride, they offer you a pic of your trip? 
Maybe the clowns can do the same and offer the guests photos of themselves that the clowns took of them while they were sleeping? 
YES!

I'm right handed ...

but I had to learn to eat goofy footed because Olive Rootbeer's version of "intimate meal" is very intimate (all up in my biddness every day).
 I didn't mind acquiring the new skill, I like hug-munching too.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/


Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

I get gifted remnants of the pot safaris

When the guests leave they often give me the remainder of their weed (and lighters) that they bought. Can't take it on the plane. Bummer.
I know it sounds like a boon for Dingo (it is, they saves me a lot of money)
but I'm not all about me. I want them to keep their stuff.
 I want them to take it home and show the red states how green our thumbs are here. 
They tell me how back home, herb is treated like it's a hard drug. It's a big part of filling those private prison cells. 
:) Last night a couple from Kansas gave me this little can o goodies and a bunch of joints. 
Deelighted. I threw it in the pile with the rest of them. 
Pretty sweet perk but I do wish they could take their stuff home.Then late last night I dipped into it and realized...whooo, this is kind of strong. 
I like a head change but I'm never a fan of being intoxicated. 
I'm all about the neighborhood homegrown so I gotta remember to read the labels.
People on weed safari get the real fire. I guess that's why they never finish it. 

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Brujia trying weed for the first time

Another single serving friendship in the can.
 We just dropped our new friend off at the airport and soon she will be back with her husband in Korea. 

She has been married 2 years and told us she is very independent. 
Married life has made her less independent so she took a solo trip to the USA to get her self-power on. 
She picked Portland-town because she read we are weird here and won't diss her for expressing herself. 
The first few days she took herself out to great food and drinks. 
Then she got to know the clowns better. We hit it off (like we do).
We had a late night together playing cards with my daughter then this morning when I asked her what she planned to do today she said "Go with you I think."
I'm really impressed with her English. 
It's a struggle around the clowns since we use lots of slang, jargon and double speak. 
I was also impressed with her Spanish. Her nickname back home is "Lil Brujia". She has some Latinos in her neighborhood and she said Spanish words as well as I do. 
Last night she asked me to translate her Spanish, Korean name into Scandinavian runes. That was funny. 
L.B. went to our gig with us today, rocked out a bit and enjoyed the shops. 
On the way home I pointed out a pot shop and told her that's where Marijuana is sold. Her eyes lit up. "I wanna try that. I wanna tell my husband I tried that he will be so jealous." 
I was enjoying hearing her say the word Marijuana in perfect Spanish. As long as she kept talking I was happy to share. I rolled a joint and packed a bowl. I forgot she had zero backstory about how to puff out so I lit and handed over the doobie first. 

She sat there drawing on it over and over. She never got the memo that you typically pass it after a few hits.

Then she just sat there puffing and experiencing. 
Finally she passed it over, crushed and more than half over. The pipe was challenging too but she did it up like a champ. 

We were worried that she could have a bad reaction so we were watching her carefully. She was fine. She liked the sensation and we liked that she finally got her political on. After the smoke sesh she was happy to talk about climate, global economy, our two countrys etc. 
We talked so long she was almost late for the plane. We offered to take her to the airport. 

As we got close to the airport she asked for the windows to be rolled down. She wanted to breathe as much clean Portland air as she could before she went home where the air is very contaminated (by China). 
She also wanted to breathe in the last air of her vacation. She said she will never forget us. I asked her to name her children after us. Just then something in the road ahead burst into flames. Smoke was pouring over the road."Stop breathing in Portland. Roll the window back up quick!" Portland is ironic as well as weird. 
Little Brujia showed no adverse effects from the ganja and made it to her gate on time. 
We had a strong goodbye, goodluck to our single serving friend. Before she left she asked if her room was having guests tonight.
Olive "Yep, new single serving friends are already there by now."


http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/


Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Meanwhile night missions roll on.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.