Young couple from the middle of Oregon.

They came for a weekend in a city that doesn't roll up the streets at dark. They were just as wide eyed as the folks visiting from other countries and middle America. The other night I was out front chomping on a doobie when the guy walked up an embraced me.
"I'm so glad to see you!"
I told him I was glad to see him too. I'm kind of a loner but I'm always happy to engage in some diplomacy. Then I found out why he was glad to see me.
"My wife is ashleep and I was logged out of the house." He was locked out and apparently just walked around to all the local bars pounding drinks. He was tore up!
So he vanishes into the house and I hear nothing from him again until late night.
"BBbbbbrrrrrrrraaaap!" He was going there. hurling his guts out in the bathroom.
Right across the hall is another room with a different couple. I hadn't met them so I had no clue what kind of night they were having. I can't imagine they could be sleeping through that calamitous noise. The drunk man's partner found me and asked for a garbage bag for the barf.
She didn't know I had seen him earlier so she said "My husband seems to have caught the bug I had last week" He puked on as I sat at the table researching boring stuff.
Then Olive came downstairs mostly asleep to go to the bathroom. She found a naked man she never met before clutching the commode for dear life and singing the dry heaving song.
"Ooops, sorry, didn't know anyone was in here , would you like the light back off?" "He said "yeah that would be great, thank you." He couldn't have picked a better bathroom to do that in. The bathroom and the two rooms get cleaned and pro-scrubbed every few days.
On top of that, my housemate chore is cleaning the toilette so I know it'a properly buffed and scrubbed surface for worshiping the porcelain god.
That was pretty entertaining. The next day I met the couple from across the hall. They were a (30 somethings) Chicano couple from L.A. I asked if they were kept up.
They said "Um yeah."
They hadn't been as amused as me. Then I gave them the details and that made them both crack up. The husband said "I'm not gonna say that ever happened to me, but I do know where that kid was coming from.
Hope he feels better."
Yeah!I loved that Tude.

Grapegate!

I followed a trail of clues and solved a problem. I live in a house that rents out rooms. 
This morning I went to the bathroom to clean out a paintbrush in the sink. 
It quickly filled up with water. So I boiled a bit of water and poured it down to maybe free the obstruction. I could see a flash of purple when I gave a look with my bike light. 
So I turned both spigots on and furiously started doing the plunger businesses on this sink. 
Yes! I grabbed an emaciated grape. 
Still the sink was clogged so I plunged on. 
I was getting debris that I couldn't readily identify. 
I seemed like someone dissolved a cardboard box into the drain. Then I started making out that it was food. Former food to be precise. 
The smell informed me that It had already been in somebody. 
We live in a "Foodie" hot spot. I'm guessing someone over-imbibed and then puked into the sink during the night. 
I learned right away that the folks who rent rooms here are not shagging (those folks go to motels) or binge drinking. These cats came to eat. 
I'm more than happy to add another notch on my plunger handle for crazy stuff I have pulled up. 
The most exotic thing I ever found was the contents of a jar of pickles flushed down a Ptown warehouse commode. 
After lunch one day the receptionist had clogged the toilette the natural way. She then decided to add all the pickles knowing it was gonna be up to me to plunge. She never told me why she flushed the pickles. 
It was a red herring but I didn't know that. 
I cleared the situation and reported to her. 
"I found out why your pickles weren't going down...they were blocked by some turdlettes. Maybe next time you should flush the pickles first, then take a dump."
 LOL.

wine tastes like wine

What kind of Ice Cream goes with $30 wine?
Hope it's bargain bin, damaged freight butter pecan. We live in a house that rents out rooms.

Most often they leave their weed behind for us, this time it's wine. I don't drink but I never had expensive wine...even when I was a souse.
The wine came from a sun baked couple from SoCal. They were delightful, really smiley and it was adorable how they had such amazing tan lines from the flip flops.
They enjoy, coffee, cycling, reading books and taking phone clients even though they are retired.
Our tallbikes were no biggie to them, they are both hot air balloon pilots. My giant rig is a bug to them.
They had that grandparent vibe that made us want to impress them. Over and over again I had to stop myself from bothering them "um here is a drawing I crayoned for you, perhaps you can put it on your fridge?"
They took a shine to us too.

They bought this wine and only had a glass out of it, then left the rest for us.
Olive and I decided to make a date of it. We sat down with the bottle, ice cream and a 2001 episode of Amazing Race. I made myself a butter pecan wine float that tasted more than a little bit like burnt kitten ear medication.
I realized that the two taste sensations need to be separated.
The wine tasted like wine. I didn't have anything to compare it to since the last time I had regular wine (from a box) was over a decade ago

Understanding each other with wine, sushi, hot Ramen, whiskey and some very smart phones.

Olive has been trading lifestories. She doesn't speak Korean but her phone does. 

A young S. Korean woman just walking into the kitchen wearing only a tiny shirt and panties.

She was very embarrassed to see me and apologized over and over as she backpedaled out of the room. 
Now we are even. When we met this morning, I was only wearing a towel. 
I hope she knows I don't care. 
I'm somewhere between indifferent and slightly amused. 
She came back with some clothes on asking me to help her open a huge bottle of IPA. 
I think she may be the shyest party animal on the block.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

I met a handsome doctor last night ooooh!

 LOL ok we already met. He is staying in one of the rooms that rent in our place. Last night Olive was out of town. Steven is a mid-30-something Doc from New Zealand. 
He was visiting Corvallis tracking down distant relatives and decided to take a few days on Puddletown. 
We traded life stories last night as he watched me eat a plate of bacon. He said he has been trying to do at least one ink drawing per day. I asked him if he wanted to do some art with me by way of video taping a bike ride. 
He was all over it. There is avid cycling in NZ but nothing to the scale of Portland. 
I lent him a beach cruiser and we took off. I asked him what he wanted to see and he mentioned the big mural by the tracks with plants growing out of it. 
He noticed it from the bus and wanted a better look. I was glad that he was narrating into the gopro with that amazing accent. 

When we got there we noticed how cool the mural was and also noticed I neglected to bring SD cards for both gopros (like a ditz). No footage night, bummer. 
So we lit out exploring 11pm Portland. 
We rolled downtown and over the Tillicum bridge twice. He kept looking at the infrastructure and saying "Wow, so fancy." I enjoyed rolling with him and discovered it's really easy to get medical advice from a doc when you are asking about an ailment you don't have. 
I got him telling me all about dysentery and child birth. I learned a lot. 
We discussed so much, it really should have been a podcast. He had heaps of questions about clowning, our life and of course Patch Adams. It's a bit of a struggle rolling with folks who aren't conditioned to ride fast for hours like us. He did well and immediately passed out in his room when we got back. That''s what's up Doc.
Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/


Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

We don't work here but we still get gifts from guests

We don't work here but we still get gifts from guests. Our latest "single serving" friends left us some goodies before they left. The came from an exotic country called "Dallas Texas". 

Single serving friends work great for us because longterm friendships tend to break our stride.

We must look like such snobs for always turning down dinner parties and social gatherings. Sorry. 

We can still be hermits around single serving friends because we know there is a finish line. 

This time there was a prize at the end. 

I understand why the Texans left the pot food behind but why didn't they bring those fantastic beers and the mug from the Drag club? 

Thanks Texans! Maybe someday I will visit your country and leave a bunch or pot and beer behind. I better learn the language first.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Wow this dude really likes pizza.

I just showed my new homie from Japan how to make a pizza from scratch.
He is returning to Japan unemployed and mentioned he wanted to get into the pizza game.
They are leaving tomorrow.
We will miss our newest single serving friends. Tonight i took dude on a tallbike night mission. Olive was sewing with his lady.
I asked him to come with me on a mission to deliver some food to a preggers lady. He doesn't really speak English so all I had to do was point to our contented hens and say "Wanna ride bicycle?"
I loaded my hoopty, squared him away with a bike light and we took off.
He hadn't realized how fast we roll.
I took off and eventually hear him screaming behind me "Soo sorry, I'm coming."
I slowed down and soon we found our pace together.
I admire this dude. For not knowing English he is killing it with the communication.
This wouldn't work if we all weren't really expressive anyway. We got to where we were going and he got to see a very grateful pregnant woman and shortly after that a pot tree.
He was apprehensive but curious because it's highly illegal in his town.
We took off. On the road he got to experience how people cheer for us as we go by. He was smiling ear to ear. When I got home I was baffled by the convo Olive was having with the other guest.
She was telling the lady "so I told her, I'm a grown ass woman and I'm not about to be hearing what she is saying." I wasn't aware that Olive ever said anything like that. I am aware that her Japanese counterpart had NO idea what she was saying at that point.
Other than that the language barrier, was no barrier to her friendship with her new friend.
They are tight. and have a lot in common.
Me hanging out with the dude was a little different.
language isn't so big a deal because we dudes don't mind sitting around not saying anything.
When we were on the road however, folks cheered at us and I could hear my friend cheering back in the thickest Japanese accent ever. "AAaaaAah"
I'm gonna miss this bloke.lol
They thanked us for being such good hosts. We said "We aren't hosts, we don't work here, we are just the clown who live in the attic. :)

i found out what Olive was talking about. She was telling her new friend what to say, not what she said. Our friends had shared a cab with some drunk, pregnant, obnoxious women.They were being condescending and Olive was giving her some tough language to fend off the dumdums. They were very taken with the friendliness of Ptown don't get me wrong.They were delighted at how many strangers on the street said hi as they passed. They also noticed the temperament we have around light rail. "In Japan when train late everyone very angry, in Portland when train late they go have beer."

a great way to impress me is to ride my bike.

nailed it.

We did a little rock show for them in the living room and then made balloons last night. After that we found out my Man had a trick up his sleeve. Turns out he in one of the few dudes in his world who still rock fundochi (traditional underwear). The couple met when they were volunteering at a festival honoring ancestors.

G'bye Friends Good luck!

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Japanese folks and our tallbikes

By some interesting coincidence, last night both rooms were rented by early 30 somethings from The land of the rising sun. Japan.

It was our great honor to show them our life and ask about theirs.

We all had a lovely morning together.  After a round of strong coffee we showed them how to ride our tallbikes. 

Oops layed it down.

This dude was a natural.

Nice day for a ride.

My bike takes a pic every 5 seconds so I got a lot of pics. This post is for them to choose what pics they want.

That was fun. Now to show them my office.

yes, my office is a cardboard box. They thought that was a riot.

He is asking "Is...that Marijuana?"

Calls his lady and friend.

They watched me roll a doobie. They politley applauded when I was done. I said "American origami"

I never mention people's names when I talk about them. If anything they do in our country gets them into trouble in their country, I don't want it to be because I gave up their names. "Security culture" is international.

They didn't want any but they were facinated watching and photographing me smoke a joint by myself. That works for me.

We will miss these nice folks. I wish we all lived closer.

If this guy lived here I would want to ride with him all the time. He was good and confident.

Good times. 

We collected more Japanese language and three new friends this morning.  

That was great. It's so sad to see one of them go. 

We get to keep the other two a few more days. I hope they are having a great honeymoon here in the states.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

Turns out a good breakfast over in Tokyotown is rice,Miso, tufu and veggies.

Hanging out with this hip couple from Japan who are staying at our house.
 We had some of our family over tonight and all of us sat around with the babblephones out trying to communicate with our new friends. 
We never had time to take our clown stuff off after gigs today so this couple are very brave to spend so much time talking to clowns. 
They had no idea we would be here.  They may not know what we even are. But we are getting along swimmingly though. 
The couple looked at me puzzled when I complimented their English. 
I said compared to my Japanese language skills, you two are an English professors.
Now our family has left and we are still at it with the cultural exchange.
 I'm asking a lot of Japanese words and forgetting them as soon as I hear them, yeah, I'm sexy like that. Hopefully some of it sticks. 
Clowns need to know how to talk to everybody. It's tedious but well worth struggling through the language barrier to communicate and enjoy our latest "single serving friends". They got married 9 months ago and just now found time for the Honeymoon. 
We all have loads of questions for each other about water, life, language and culture. There is a Japanese guest in the other room as well strangely enough. She asked that we teach her how we make a traditional American breakfast. 
My traditional Sunday breakfast is the "racecar no driver" (Cannabis and coffee till lunchtime, roastin bowls and sippin joe.) so I wouldn't suggest my no gig day Bfast fave. 
Looks like we will be Americaning breakfast for three Japanese single serving friends in the morning.
 I hope we can come up with something to properly rep our hunk of Erff.
 I don't want to make them greasy fat bombs.
 I asked what they like for the first meal of the day in Japan. 
Turns out a good breakfast over in Tokyotown is rice,Miso, tufu and veggies. 
We are thinking pancakes, yogurt and fruit?

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/


Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

on the Vacay by her damn self.

I just had coffee with an adorable Korean woman that I found in our livingroom this morning. 

Her and her Husband couldn't match up their off time so she is on the Vacay by her damn self.
She is very sweet.

Right now her and Olive are making her some goodies out of essential oils.

I really dig the look on Korean's faces when I greet them in their own language.

It's a look of relief mixed with pure amusement.

Korean is an intimidating language for us "Romanized" language speakers but I'm finding it a very beautiful language that I enjoy wrapping my head around.
Also as a trickster it's clutch to know what everyone is saying.

I been crunching Chinese, Korean and Spanish for the last few months.
Our new friend said she chose Portland because she read in articles that people are weird here and have freedoms to express themselves.
That is a pretty good review in my book.

She bought two boxes of tea from us and is going to bike with us to our gig at Pie Spot Pie shop today at 4. I love doing dignitary duty.

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog

Like what we do?

We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.

http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

mexican food

We have been "single serving" friends to a couple of cool cats from China. 
There is a bit of a language barrier but that's my fault. 
They were nice enough to show up knowing a lot of my language. 
They are a riot. One of them was brave enough to ask for a ride on my tallbike.
 It was super funny. 
They got really animated. 
They said they never tried Mexican food.
We decided to take them to the Mercado.

They still haven't tried Mexican food. They don't know English or Spanish so they were just going by the photos outside the foodcart. They got lunch from a Cuban food vender. :)

Hope ya got some laughs from this blog
Like what we do?
We live out of a tip jar (sometimes chicken sometimes feathers) if you are in a place to keep our sunny side up and rubber side down then feel free to drop off a donation at our website.
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.

They didn't warm like usual.

Every few days we meet folks from all over the world.
We don't work here, we are just the house clowns.
Usually they are thrilled to meet us, see our bikes and be on vacay.
This time the guests just stared silently at us as I introduced myself and showed them their room.
I told them about the filtered water and pointed out the towels but they didn't look in the direction I pointed.
They just awkwardly backwards-walked to their room and slammed the door. I never saw them again.
I don't need to be liked by everyone, it just rolled off my back as usual.
Then I walked by a mirror.
Earlier, Olive and I were making out and I had her red lipstick covering my entire lower face.
I didn't look like a clown, I looked like I was just devouring a wildebeest on the Serengeti with the jackals and hyenas.

That gave me a good laugh.
I guess I should start paying better attention now that we are house clowns.

like what we do?
jar. Here is a link to our online hat. :)
http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

We are not employees but we do like getting paid. 
I was thinking of stealing a page from the carnival ride playbook.
 Y'know how when you go down the log ride, they offer you a pic of your trip? 
Maybe the clowns can do the same and offer the guests photos of themselves that the clowns took of them while they were sleeping? 
YES!

Brujia trying weed for the first time

Another single serving friendship in the can.
 We just dropped our new friend off at the airport and soon she will be back with her husband in Korea. 

She has been married 2 years and told us she is very independent. 
Married life has made her less independent so she took a solo trip to the USA to get her self-power on. 
She picked Portland-town because she read we are weird here and won't diss her for expressing herself. 
The first few days she took herself out to great food and drinks. 
Then she got to know the clowns better. We hit it off (like we do).
We had a late night together playing cards with my daughter then this morning when I asked her what she planned to do today she said "Go with you I think."
I'm really impressed with her English. 
It's a struggle around the clowns since we use lots of slang, jargon and double speak. 
I was also impressed with her Spanish. Her nickname back home is "Lil Brujia". She has some Latinos in her neighborhood and she said Spanish words as well as I do. 
Last night she asked me to translate her Spanish, Korean name into Scandinavian runes. That was funny. 
L.B. went to our gig with us today, rocked out a bit and enjoyed the shops. 
On the way home I pointed out a pot shop and told her that's where Marijuana is sold. Her eyes lit up. "I wanna try that. I wanna tell my husband I tried that he will be so jealous." 
I was enjoying hearing her say the word Marijuana in perfect Spanish. As long as she kept talking I was happy to share. I rolled a joint and packed a bowl. I forgot she had zero backstory about how to puff out so I lit and handed over the doobie first. 

She sat there drawing on it over and over. She never got the memo that you typically pass it after a few hits.

Then she just sat there puffing and experiencing. 
Finally she passed it over, crushed and more than half over. The pipe was challenging too but she did it up like a champ. 

We were worried that she could have a bad reaction so we were watching her carefully. She was fine. She liked the sensation and we liked that she finally got her political on. After the smoke sesh she was happy to talk about climate, global economy, our two countrys etc. 
We talked so long she was almost late for the plane. We offered to take her to the airport. 

As we got close to the airport she asked for the windows to be rolled down. She wanted to breathe as much clean Portland air as she could before she went home where the air is very contaminated (by China). 
She also wanted to breathe in the last air of her vacation. She said she will never forget us. I asked her to name her children after us. Just then something in the road ahead burst into flames. Smoke was pouring over the road."Stop breathing in Portland. Roll the window back up quick!" Portland is ironic as well as weird. 
Little Brujia showed no adverse effects from the ganja and made it to her gate on time. 
We had a strong goodbye, goodluck to our single serving friend. Before she left she asked if her room was having guests tonight.
Olive "Yep, new single serving friends are already there by now."


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Thanks! It's a great town to be a clown.